My writing has taken a back seat to depression since treatment's end, as mentioned in a previous post, the " undetected " result found me floundering, unable to find a focus point, now that the enemy was well & truly vanquished. Then came the decision to reduce my Valium, it seemed like a good idea at the time, thinking I may as well kill two birds with one stone ie, if Valium can't lift my mood then I'll leave it out for good ! turning a negative into a positive, as is my way. This act sent me spiraling headlong into " depression," for the first time I can remember, in that no matter what I did my spirit spiraled down & down to the point of despair. For the first time in my life I truly understood how terrible the state of depression is. The feeling of pure & utter hopelessness, of being trapped in the darkest of places & that it will never end...
Today is the first day that upon waking I lay there & thought positive thoughts, a pro- active positivity that in turn kick-stars my mind to churn out the ideas one after the other, ideas that have legs, that need ignition so here I am giving life to the new wave of new life... let's hope this moment lasts forever. Yes, with the good comes the bad, the trick is to hang in there & never give in. Treatment for hepatitis c has been a very long hard road that is still unwinding before me, pulling in every direction in every which way, all I know is that now I'm back in the right place... the driving seat.
Onward & upward,
Peace out,
Rabbit.
